Thursday, April 1, 2010

easterbunny hunt spectacular 1/3

As easter rolls around once again i've begun preparations for my annual easterbunnyhunt. I am determined that this year that furry bastard will not just leave a taunting, brightly colored piece of chicken menstruation and be out of there with no further notice. No, this year i will get him.

To prepare this year i've decided to do several things differently from last year. Obviously, since he got away, two sets of infrared detectors, a sexy plastic decoy bunny for distraction, seven motion detectors, a pile of magnetic easterbunnyseed and a giant horseshoemagnet just doesn't cut it. This year however, things will be different.

For starters i've called in professional help. Two squads of shotgun wielding mercenaries will be patrolling the perimeter, and one SWAT-team will be securing the living room. Beyond that i've bought a set of rocket powered rollerskates to allow me to catch up with him in case he tries to escape capture once spotted. Two snipers armed with tranquilzer darts will be placed on the roof to ensure that no attempts to enter from open areas are successful.

The automated defenses have been amped up as well. Infrared detectors at every window and at least two motion detectors in every room. it's all on separate circuits to make hacking them impossible. Iv'e scored another two giant horseshoemagnets and several piles of magnetic bunnyseed dot the livingroom.

As a last resort I've called Chuck Norris for help and, luckily, he has promised show up if he can find some spare time in between kicking terrorist butt and being awesome.

that furry bastard doesn't stand a chance this year.

- Vil E. Amsus

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