Friday, March 12, 2010

war, war never changes pt. 1

War, sounds great doesn't it ? but really it's not as nice as it seems. Despite it's inviting, sugary, almost cakelike appearence it's not always an uncompromisingly good experience. sure, pillaging, exploitation, childmurdering, genocide and dining in exotic locales sound like great fun, and don't get me wrong here, it IS great fun, but there are pitfalls to watch for and if you don't make sure to lookout for these your experience isn't going to be nearly as pleasant as it could be.

I've recently completed my doctorate in warology at bumhug university. in connection to the studies necessary in order to write my dissertation on the strategic consequences of ice cream trucks in medieval Europe i was alerted to the ignorance of the general populace on the topic of strategically disadvantageous alternative determination. This neglectful education of the populace is what motivated me to begin this series of public service updates at my blog.

To my dedicated readers i bring these pieces of advice in the hopes that it may help you avoid unnecessary bother while waging war. no need to thank me i'm merely a kind soul who wishes to help my fellow man wage an enjoyable war.


Monday, March 8, 2010

what other people think

They say the coolest people are rebels. rebels don't care about what other people think about them, and thats why they're cool. Everybody loves them, except me. I don't care that people like them, i'm just too cool to care about that. I don't care that people might think i'm weird because i don't look up to rebels and try to be like them. I will not be constrained be these pointless norms. I didn't land on Rebel-infatuation, rebel infatuation landed on me!!

I cannot accept this society of rebel-worshipers. I will go against the grain and fight for conformists right to love conforming. I will not stick out! I will not be different! and i will most certainly not stand firm on my opinions if other people tell me they are stupid.

no! you rebels will not make me one of you! you will not make me think you're cool! and i will never bow down to the tyranny that is looking up to rebels!
I will never be like you!



Tuesday, March 2, 2010

letting the mouth run

There is a very real danger to consider before opening your mouth. well, there's more than one but i'm doing this topic now so don't interrupt(how rude are you anyway?). give me at least a chance to get started before you start that kind of thing.

anyway, one the dangers when opening your mouth. TO SPEAK (keep your mind out the gutter, please!) is the danger of letting the mouth run. ok, so it really dangerous, but it does tend to have undesirable consequences. you might start unnecessarily elaborating on some completely uninteresting and unlikely semantical nitpicking you imagine your listeners doing, thus calling unnecessary attention to it. Or you might add superfluous additions to your statement in order to avoid misunderstandings, and subsequently causing everyone to misunderstand. or most likely you'll get so caught up in your statement that you'll make long and useless lists of examples just to make sure everybody gets it, and this way getting everyone bored and unable to listen making sure nobody gets it.

but what exactly do i mean with letting the mouth run? it's when you try to say something but end up making your argument or statement much longer than needed because you do something stupid like adding an explanation of something everyone already figured out.

the real problem with letting the mouth run is that you risk drifting of subject by referencing some previous event that has no bearing on the subject whatsoever. just like that one time I bought a bacon cheese burger at burger king. I stood for a long time trying to figure out what king double deluxe meant, while my friends bought their box-spring fries and pepperjacks (at least thats what I think they're called) after trying to solve the mystery of the menu i finally gave up and asked my friend what was good. and he said that the bacon cheese thingy was alright. to make a very short story very long, I asked the attendant how much it was and he answered something but I don't remember the figure except that it was pretty much the most expensive thing they had. however it wasn't more than the hundred kroner (danish currency for the perplexed) at my disposal so I asked the attendant for one of them. he brought the so-called burger to me and I exchanged it for my money and awaited my change. he handed me my change and i walked out of the line after putting coins into my wallet. we all went upstairs to get a table and sat down by one. I unwrapped my burger and it did indeed look alright. However as i took my first bite i realized that this was even worse than the terrible box-spring fry i'd tasted a moment ago. consequently, i gave it to someone else as i couldn't eat it.